Just an FYI for those who have this journal on their flist, this is obviously not Owen, little_masaouki, speaking. In fact, this is zomg_its_stace. Owen is currently on a train down to San Diego to spend some time with his brother. However, that silly boy forgot to log himself out of his LJ when he borrowed my Mac earlier today, so this is what he gets. Really, the kid's known me for close to a year now. He should know better than to do something like that.

So, everyone, please come take a look at his lovely parting gifts, courtesy of me and cimplybe. He has a shiny new default icon that was custom made to match his fabulous new lay out. Feel free to chuckle/mock/point and laugh.

Hope your train ride was good, Owen. XD

>.> Oh, and this is totally Libby's fault. *nods*

Last night my friends Libby and Stacey went to see Twilight. Libby decided it was wise to get fully wasted before doing so. I can't say I really blame her.

The following is a chat room log from their triumphant return from said outing. For posterity, the world must know of it.

(mcstaceypants is Stacey of course, and CimplyBe is our drunken friendly Texan, Libby. Other playesr include myself as the daring and handsome Little Masaouki, and Jess as the beautiful but lonely cynicaldreamer86. Also, do not fear, despite her words here, she has given me full permission to preserve this encounter)

[02:51] *** mcstaceypants has joined the chat.
[02:51] Little Masaouki: Stacey!!!
[02:52] rayvlil: I'm going to bed
[02:52] Little Masaouki: awww, night Val
[02:52] rayvlil: bye bye chat!
[02:52] *** rayvlil has left the chat.
[02:53] cynicaldreamer86: Hey Stacey
[02:53] mcstaceypants: Owen my love!
[02:53] mcstaceypants: LMFAO
[02:53] mcstaceypants: Hi Jess
[02:53] mcstaceypants: LIBBY IS SO WASTED
[02:53] Little Masaouki: So I've been told
[02:53] Little Masaouki: You have to tell me what embarassing things she did
[02:54] cynicaldreamer86: Yes you have to tell both of us
[02:54] mcstaceypants: LFMAO
[02:54] mcstaceypants: I just gave her her computer
[02:54] mcstaceypants: She'll be online in a sec
[02:54] *** CimplyBe has joined the chat.
[02:54] cynicaldreamer86: Hi Libby!
[02:55] CimplyBe: STACEY IS MEAN TO ME
[02:55] mcstaceypants: LOL
[02:55] CimplyBe: ICAN'T TYPW
[02:55] CimplyBe: MY FINGERS HAGTE ME
[02:55] mcstaceypants: She's laying in her room in the dark talking to me
[02:55] CimplyBe: SO?
[02:55] mcstaceypants: telling me she wants to sleep
[02:55] CimplyBe: I DO
[02:55] mcstaceypants: but she KEEPS talking
[02:55] CimplyBe: SPO?
[02:55] CimplyBe: YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER
[02:55] mcstaceypants: So.
[02:55] cynicaldreamer86: Poor Libby *hugs*
[02:55] mcstaceypants: Libby decided she wanted to get drunk before the movie.
[02:55] CimplyBe: i'm not poor
[02:55] CimplyBe: i'm rich in happy
[02:56] CimplyBe: nsd balls
[02:56] CimplyBe: and
[02:56] mcstaceypants: LMFAO
[02:56] mcstaceypants: BALLS
[02:56] CimplyBe: I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGH
[02:56] mcstaceypants: We took her picture with the sparkly balls
[02:56] Little Masaouki: So how was Twilight?
[02:56] CimplyBe: BOOBS FO THE FUTURE
[02:56] CimplyBe: Twilight rix
[02:56] CimplyBe: rpox
[02:56] CimplyBe: rox
[02:56] CimplyBe: shut up
[02:57] CimplyBe: i can hear you stacey
[02:57] mcstaceypants: I didnt say anything
[02:57] CimplyBe: IU CAN HEAR YOU
[02:57] CimplyBe: >.>
[02:57] CimplyBe: oweenn, don't same this log
[02:57] CimplyBe: lave
[02:57] mcstaceypants: Tell them about Jacob's tie, Libby.
[02:57] CimplyBe: save
[02:57] mcstaceypants: I can hear you too you know.
[02:57] CimplyBe: I WANT TO TAKE HIS TIE AND TIE HIM UP
[02:57] CimplyBe: spo?
[02:57] CimplyBe: so?>
[02:57] CimplyBe: so?
[02:58] Little Masaouki: Sorry Libby, but the saving is automatic
[02:58] CimplyBe: fu
[02:58] mcstaceypants: Owen doesnt have to save it. Mine saves it automatically too
[02:58] mcstaceypants: AND ITS GOIN IN LJ
[02:58] CimplyBe: okay, then at least put it in the occ comm
[02:58] CimplyBe: ooc
[02:58] mcstaceypants: LOL
[02:58] CimplyBe: cause public humiliation is tot the same as hiding it
[02:59] CimplyBe: I OWN UP TO BEING DRUNK
[02:59] CimplyBe: THE GIRLS LOVED IT
[02:59] mcstaceypants: LMFAO
[02:59] Little Masaouki: girls?
[02:59] CimplyBe: THEY DID
[02:59] mcstaceypants: She made friends with the girls next to us
[02:59] CimplyBe: at the movie
[02:59] Little Masaouki: ahhh
[02:59] CimplyBe: they were nice
[02:59] mcstaceypants: But made enemies of the people behind us
[02:59] CimplyBe: bitches
[02:59] mcstaceypants: And I had to take her drink away from her
[02:59] Little Masaouki: I made friends with a girl in line once. But ended up pissing off her friend
[02:59] CimplyBe: you're a bitch too
[02:59] mcstaceypants: You love me.
[02:59] CimplyBe: not you though owne
[02:59] CimplyBe: I LOVE EVERYONE
[03:00] CimplyBe: EVEN BITCH LADY
[03:00] mcstaceypants: LMFAO
[03:00] CimplyBe: I'D KISS HER IF SHE WAS HERE
[03:00] mcstaceypants: The bitch in the orange coat.
[03:00] mcstaceypants: "OMG. WAS THAT YOU LAUGHING IN THE THEATER?
[03:00] CimplyBe: but fuck her orange coat
[03:00] mcstaceypants: THAT WAS RUDE.
[03:00] CimplyBe: i sleep nao
[03:00] mcstaceypants: YOU RUINED THE MOVIE FOR EVERYONE!"
[03:00] CimplyBe: ow
[03:00] CimplyBe: now
[03:00] CimplyBe: nifhgt
[03:00] CimplyBe: night
[03:00] Little Masaouki: night Libby
[03:00] mcstaceypants: LOL
[03:00] *** CimplyBe has left the chat.
[03:01] cynicaldreamer86: *stratches head*
[03:01] cynicaldreamer86: that was somethign else
[03:01] mcstaceypants: LOL Libby says "Good night again"
[03:01] cynicaldreamer86: tell her goodnight for me too because I miss her
[03:02] mcstaceypants: LOL she says goodnight.
[03:02] cynicaldreamer86: and probably thinking "shut the fuck up alright"
[03:02] mcstaceypants: LOL
[03:03] mcstaceypants: No she's already asleep
[03:03] cynicaldreamer86: LOL
[03:03] mcstaceypants: She said "Tell them Erik had DEMON EYES"
[03:04] cynicaldreamer86: lol
[03:04] mcstaceypants: "It's important."
[03:04] Little Masaouki: who's Erik?
[03:04] mcstaceypants: LOL one of the characters in the movie
[03:04] cynicaldreamer86: from the movie I'm thinking
[03:04] mcstaceypants: She's mumbling things for me to tell them
[03:04] mcstaceypants: duh, I mean you guys
[03:05] cynicaldreamer86: lol
[03:05] mcstaceypants: Im telling her to shut up and go to sleep
[03:05] cynicaldreamer86: LOL you;re so mean
[03:05] mcstaceypants: "Tell them the bedroom's spinning"
[03:05] Little Masaouki: She sounds like a fun drunk
[03:05] mcstaceypants: Oh, she's hilarious.
[03:05] cynicaldreamer86: At least she's a HAPPY drunk
[03:05] Little Masaouki: If she starts talking about tap-dancing spiders, I'll die right now

Of course the real victim here is all of us. Because two more people told Hollywood that making more of these crappy movies might be a good idea.

Yesterday was the visitation.  It was emotional for everybody.

Even I was amazed by how many people showed up.  Friends, co-workers, family memebers, family friends, and more.  The amount of people really show how great a guy Andrew was.  I met a lot of old friends that I hadn't seen in a long time, and met a lot of Andrews friends.  There was much crying, and many long, hard embraces with family and friends.

One of the wierd things was that I kept thinking I saw Andrew.  Not in a "Oh my god, he's alive!" way, but more of a casual "Oh, Andrew's there." and then I would realize Andrew can't be there, so I'd look again and realize it was one of his friends.  Andrew has a lot of friends that are the same height, build and with similar dark hair.  My aunt Jodi was glad when I told her this, because she was afraid that she was the only one.

When I first saw the casket, I was filled with fear and dread.  Here was the body of my brother, the true evidence that my brother truly was dead.  To approach it would be to say my final good bye, and I found that I couldn't bring myself to do it.  My Aunt Sue helped me, silently standing beside me and rubbing my back, assuring without words, that it was alright.  I found further solace and comraderie in my cousin, Meg, who was feeling similar anxiety about the finality of the casket, expressed by her concerns "Wasn't he taller than that?"  Indeed, the casket looked too small to fit him.

Eventually I overcame my fear and approached the casket with the help of my brother Brook.  Eventaully Megan found her way up there and I went up there to be with her.

After that just family attended a nice dinner at the Tuscani on Clark.  It was warm and friendly, and saw the continuation of the obnoxious war between Uncle Eric and my brother Phil.

As hard as yesterday was, today was so much harder.

First was the baptism, a spot of joy amist all the suffering, as Sophia Mirie was Christined, admist closest family and friends.  I couldn't see her very well as her mother Jess was facing away from me, but she was clearly bright and cheerful and squirmy.

After that, the pews filled up as the funeral began.  I walked among tear struck brothers behind the casket.  I watched in wonder as one of the pall bearers burst into tears and was consoled by his nearest friend.  Phil, Brook and I fell into a wierd synchronization, where we seemingly took turns breaking down, so that the other two could console them.

There were three speeches.  The first was given by my father, who's grief even I can barely understand.  Not only has he lost his eldest son, but his father died a mere 16 months ago, adding a sense of loss completely unfathomable to most people.  His speech was heartfelt, warm, funny, and only slightly blasphemous, to which he asked forgiveness ahead of time to the clergy.  He spoke of Andrew's love of life, and lack of sports skills, and his comical love of a game called "corn-hole."  He also spoke of my grandfather, his father, and what he pictured him saying which I will now quote:  "He will look up from his garden, and see Andrew standing there, and he'll say, "What the hell are you doing here?"  And then, he will say, as he would say to anybody, 'Welcome, Friend.'"

Next was his best friend Andy, who spoke of how they met, of Andrew's amazing talent at schooling, and how he looked to him as a hero.  Finally, came Jess's speech, which was nothing short of tear-jerking, as she spoke of her unending, unconditional, and perpetually growing love, and of all the obstacles that could have pulled them apart, but instead pulled them closer together.

The hardest part for me was when they moved the casket for communion.  Because I again had to acknowledge that there in lied the truth of my brother.  That he was dead and he was never coming back.  Made even worse in that it was moved directly in front of me.  I choked, and I cried, and suddenly my father was next to me, holding me close, my head pressed tightly against his shoulder.  And I cried freer and longer than I had before.  I pressed my hand to the casket and said goodbye one more time, and I felt the energy that surrounded him.  Even in death, he affects so many people and lives on through so many thoughts and emotions, that his energy was tangible to me, breathing even through the wood of the caket.

After communion and more prayer, the procession moved outside, and I fell in behind them.  I lent my arm to my elderly grandmother, so I fell behind the rest of my brothers, who reached outside first.  The cold did not affect me, even with my Texan/Californian lifestyle.  Not until the casket was loaded into the herse and was gone could I feel the elements.  I joined my brothers and my mother and father in a hug, and lingered, dispite the cold, before going inside and forcing myself to eat something.

Next came the funeral.  Each time I thought I got through the hardest part and that I was numb to the pain, but each time I was wrong.  I fluxuated through odd calms and emotional torrents, a rollercoaster if ever there was one.  The funeral coordinator handed each of us a flower from the bouqette.  They then lowered the casket.  There was something both blasphemous (which either says a lot or a little coming from my agnostic views) and at the same time calming about the methodical, mechanical, and above all mundane process of physically lowering the casket with levers and cranks, it squeeking slowly as it lowered.  Then we had to drop the flowers into the grave.  My father, of course, was first.  And he broke, not for long, but he broke, more than before.  It was the first time since this began that I cried for other than my own loss and memory of my brother.  Instead I cried for my father, the strongest man in my life, who's weapons were useless against this loss.  And before I went up, I pulled him into a hug, and I whispered to him, the same thing he had asked me to say before.  The only thing I could say, the only thing that would mean anything.

"I'm here, Dad.  I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

Then I threw my own flower in.  And for the third time, I said goodbye.  But I doubt it will be the last timeOne by one we all threw our flowers in, and then turned to our closest loved ones for comfort.  I watched as grown men cried over the loss of a great friend, coworker, family member, or otherwise loved man.  Then they moved away more of the planks and a crane lowered the coffin lid.  And we each in turn threw a shovelful of dirt on to the grave.

And this is when all three of us - Brook, Phil, and I - broke at the same time.  And I pulled Phil into a hug and he whispered "You're the oldest now," and I confessed my irrational fears of this fact.  And Phil assured me that he would be there for me at all times, and I did for him and we pulled Brook into the hug as well.  And we repeated our vows to each other that no matter what, the three of us would be together and that none of us would go away.  That we were all here.

I came expecting many important moments, but none of them came.  Instead I found different ones, by no means less, just different.  This was one of them.  As I held my two remaining brothers, my younger brothers (even if by only five minutes) that I felt an irrational need to protect more than ever, I knew that we were strong enough together to get through this.  It would take a life time, but with each other's help we would prevail.

I then hugged my sister, Jess.  And I promised her that if she ever needed anything, I would be there, dropping anything I was doing to help her out.  I doubt she would ever need such assistance, particularly with physically closer friends and family.  But I needed her to know that, and I'm sure it meant a lot to her.

Andrew will never leave my thoughts.  Even when I'm not thinking of him directly, he's in the back of my mind, along with Buck, my grandfather, influencing everything I do.  And while, as a self-proclaimed agnostic, I cannot say what lies ahead, I'm sure that in some form or another, both of them are watching me from Buck's garden, and protecting and guiding me.

 

This is my older brother Andrew Haft Kuhn, holding his first and only child, Sophia Merie Kuhn.  At 4:50 PM Monday, November 17th, I received a call from my father informing me that he had died.  As of this time the details are still unknown.  What is known is this.

On Monday, Andrew went out with a co-worker/friend to take two clients to a business lunch.  During the lunch, he encountered two of his fraternity friends.  At some point during the lunch, Andrew suddenly slumped over.  His coworker immediately called his best friend Andy Copilevitz, while his fraternity brother called 911.  The paramedics arrived promptly on the scene, but by the time the took him out of the restaurant, he was not breathing.  All attempts at resuscitation failed.  The cause of death was Cardiac Tamponade, caused by a ruptured aortic aneurism

My friends have been here for me.  All words ring hollow as there's nothing that can be said, but actions speak loud enough.  Kit was mad when i woke her up, but all that disappeared when she found out why.  She hugged me, she called Pete and Paul for me.  Paul left work early and used Pete's phone to tell me where to go to meet with him, so I wouldn't be alone.  Paul hugged me, a gesture we've never shared before, as evident by the fact that we bumped heads in the process.   Paul had only met Andy in passing, and Pete had never met him.  So I showed them the picture up above.  I felt it was important that they at least know that much.  We toasted to lost and absent friends.  Then we ordered pizza, played the new guitar hero, and watched the Hulk.


Andrew leaves behind a loving wife, Jess, his daughter Sophia, his three brothers, Phil, Brook, and myself, his mother Wendy, his father Keith, and many beloved aunts, uncles and friends.

When I heard the news, I couldn't believe it.  It had to be some kind of sick joke.  Andrew couldn't be dead.  It doesn't make sense.It's not fair, and it's not possible.  Part of me still does not accept it, although I hope that the trip to Chicago and his funeral will bring some sense of closure.

Andrew was a great man.  (Was.  I've never hated that word more) He was intelligent, kind, friendly, and talented.  He almost always had this goofy smile on his face.  He was a brilliant business man, and a good friend to many, many people.

Andrew was a foundation to me, much more than I realized.  My life, be it education, career, love life, or roommates and friends, has not been smooth.  The fact tat Andrew was there, with a lot of friends, a loving wife, a beautiful daughter, and a lucrative career meant something to me.  I don't know how to explain it, it just felt reassuring.  I don't know how this will impact me in the long run.

Possibly the worst part of all this is that Sophia isn't even a year old.  She didn't just lose her father, she will never even know him as anything more than a smiling face.  But as horrible as this is, I can't help but feel some sense of relieve that at least Andrew got to see and hold his daughter.  And that at least he had a daughter, that he will live on through.

last night I realized with a creepy sensation, that I am now the oldest brother.  It is completely irrationally, but this fills me with unease and dread.  I'm only oldest by five minutes, above my brother Brook, and all of us are old enough that age doesn't truly matter, we're all independent adults forging our own lives, but I still find this fact to be very disheartening.

As bad as it is for me though< I can only imagine how hard it must be for my parents, and for Andrew's wife.  I have seen my father cry before, but I have never heard such sorrow in his voice, not even when his father died.  His incistance that I speak the words "I'm here, dad" was... I don't think there are words to describe it.  Moving?  Emotional?  They don't do it justice.

This is where a conclusion would be, but there's no conclusion.  No way to end this.  It's still going.  All I can say here is that most of you reading this never knew Andrew, and never will.  So all I can ask you is this.  Call, email, or meet with your family.  You're brothers and sisters, your nieces and nephews.  And tell them how much they mean to you, and assure them that you aren't going anywhere.  Hug them if you can.  Do this for yourselves, do this for them, and do it for me.

I'd like to dedicate this to pottersues who's cataloging of various types of Potter Sues has helped me come up with...

Top 10 Signs of a Potter Sue

(note: these are not in any particular order.)

1. Clothes Make the Girl - A Potter Sue never has to worry about dress code.  She will invariably be dressed as either goth, or more likely as if she was born and raised inside a Hot Topic.  Bonus Points if she's wearing a shirt for a band that wasn't formed yet (bear in mind, the actual novels take place between the years 1991 and 1998)
2. Dyeing to See You - A Potter Sue almost never has regular colored hair.  Their hair will either be a magical color naturally or else it is dyed (normally pink).  Hermione Sue will likely dye her hair as part of an attempt to justify her personality shift.  Bonus Points if it changes colors.
3. Eloquent Expository of Exquisite Epidermose- A Potter Sue's hair never has "black straight hair" or "curly blonde hair."  Instead they have "A river of darkness that cascaded down her back, swaying hypnotically at her waist." or "Golden rings that shimmered hypnotically in the light."  Similarly, tattoos and special colored eyes fall under this section.  Bonus Points if it's described as hypnotic.
4. God Bless the USA - A Potter Sue is American.  'Nuff said.  Bonus Points if she never shuts up about it.  Even more Bonus Points if nobody else shuts up about it either.
5. Rare species - A Potter Sue is almost always partially another race.  If it's elf, they can be full blood, but normally all other races are half blood.  Common ones include: Elves, Vampires (half if from birth, full if bitten but in control of their hungers), fae/fairies, demon, angel, veela, and dragon.  Bonus Points if they made up a creature that is obviously one of the aforementioned (Eternals = elves, Angelics = Angels, etc)
6. Unique power - A Potter Sue always has a special power.  The most common one is wandless magic: i.e. being able to cast normal magic without the need of a wand.  If combined with #5 they will invariably have access to a racial magic (Elven sorcery, blood magic, etc) that is so much more powerful, you wonder why she's bothering to learn regular magic at all.  There are other powers that are also popular.  If she is in Slytherin, expect her to be a parselmouth.  If her defining element is that she's "free spirited" (i.e. allowed to get away with anything, will usually beat up Draco with no explanation) she will be a metamorphagus.  Other popular ones include invisibility, teleportation (different from apparation and normally immune to the shield), fire-summoning, and more.  Bonus Points for rare pets like griffons and unicorns (or wyverns and dragons for the Slytherin girl) which also counts here.
7. Destiny - Often linked to 5 and/or 6, the girl has some level of destiny that normally surpasses Harry's or else rides just below him and means that she's going to be the one doing all the work in order for Harry to do his part.  Unlike Harry, she knows all about it.  Bonus Points if it's totally dark and oppressive (such as having to confront an evil ten times worse than Voldemort) but she's perfectly okay with it.
8. Prodigy - Not only will she ace everything, including beating out Harry and Hermione for top grades (which they will be totally okay with, unless Hermione is vilified, in which case she will be extremely petty about it.  If she beats Harry in broomriding, he'll  just be happy for the team and probably turned on) but she will have mastered a forbidden magic.  The top four are: Animagus, Aparation (Bonus Points if she can do it in the school), Unforgivable Curses (Slytherin-only for the most part) and something completely new (which overlaps with #6 a bit).  Bonus Points if she taught herself.
9. Rides with Titans - Assuming she doesn't ride a unicorn to school or fly using her golden wings, she will sit with Team Harry on the train.  If she gets to school another way, she will meet them at the opening feast.  Either way, she will immediately be assimilated into their group and become best friends with all three (Ron or Hermione may be kicked out of the team depending on the writer)  Bonus Points if Draco is included in the team
10. Pepper-Jack Cheese.  The character will have an out-of-place obsession with something that has no purpose to the story but is clearly a platform for the author to announce how much they like this thing.  Made even more painful if it is a Hermione Sue who is suddenly (yet explained as always being) obsessed with something that should be rather foreign to her (such as the american Pepper-Jack Cheese).  Bonus Points if she won't shut up about it, or if everybody is equally obsessed.
11. Full Markings - Chances are they have a scar (generally showing they survived something like Harry did) or a birthmark (which is linked to their destiny.)  Birthmarks are never a round mole, or a slightly raised blobby piece of skin, and the scar will never be a slightly raised white line from an old whittling accident, or a splash of white skin from an acid burn.  Instead it is a simple discoloration or thin red line that happens to perfectly form a lightning bolt, or a star.  Bonus Points if the scar is from surviving an unforgivable curse (see #6) or the birthmark is a mark of destiny (see #7)
12. It's all Relative - Most Potter Sues are related to somebody in the story line.  The most common ones include the Potters (usually his long lost twin), the Blacks (only because being a Potter would take Harry out of the love triangle), the Snapes, the Malfoys, the Dumbledores, and the Riddles.  Bonus Points if they are related to more than one of the previous.  Weasley's are surprisingly rare, dispite being a lot more believable.
13. Once you go Muggle, you never go back baby - Strongly connected to Pepper-Jack Cheese, Mary Sue's are always obsessed with muggle items.  It doesn't matter if they are Muggle-born, wizard born, born two thousand years ago, or are Draco's even more evil twin sister, they will watch muggle DVD's, listen to muggle bands on muggle Ipods. and go to muggle dance clubs.  Bonus Points if they do this from Hogwarts (or in Hogwarts when dealing with muggle technologies)  There would be bonus points for time line violations (liking movies, bands etc that hadn't come out in the corresponding year) except for they always violate it.

I was hoping to start up Super Store today, but unfortunately, I need to find my Flash CD key before I can install the program. I don't know where it is so I can't make any promises, but I hope to be up by the end of the week.

For those of you who want to follow me at nanowrimo, my account name is owenskuhn.

Day 1
Current chapter - Prologue
Status - "complete" (complete will always be in quotes, as nothing is ever complete)
word count 1437

I'm sorry to announce that Super Store will be going on a one month hiatus. This is not so much a break as a change of directions.

Today begins NaNoWriMo, (National Novel Writing Month) and with my new job and long commute, I don't have the time to juggle the comic, the writing, and much needed relax time, so I'm going to put Super Store on hold and focus on my writing. I'll keep you updated.

Day 0:
word count: 0

new background hasn't shown up yet. Will likely show up tomorrow

Also letting you know that there will be no comic for Friday, as I'll be attending Blizzcon

Sorry, no comic tonight. Spent that time working on a new background and didn't have time for the comic itself.

The new job is going well, I expect to be on my own by the end of tomorrow, assuming they have my computer set up.

See you guys tomorrow night with a new comic if everything goes well.